Battle of the Cuckshed

	🇮🇱 Mazel tov! Battle of the Cuckshed is Kosher! 🇮🇱 The content of this page has been fact-checked by real Israeli patriots.

Battle of the Cuckshed
Part of June Cypriot-Soyteen Conflict
Expansion of the Gempire visualized
Date June 7th - 8th, 2025 Location Earthpol.com Result Soyrusalemite Victory
Belligerents
Soyrusalem	Gaza Cyprus Jerusalem
Commanders and leaders
Gold CobsonTALKS Hunter_II
Strength
15 Soyteens	8 troops
Casualties and losses
Unknown, likely heavy. 2 Horses	Multiples horses. At least 4 Casualties 1 player ragequit

Around June 7th a group of a few Crusaders, Cypriots and Gazans form an alliance to set up a 2 chunk claim south of Soyrusalem, likely to serve as an outpost or millitary base. This would prompt Gold and Hunter to immediately claim the area around it to prevent further growth. One and a half dozen soyteens were sent to the area to prevent the enemies from moving. The opposing force would immediately build a dirt fortress to defend against the overwhelming soyteen forces surrounding the building, this building would be ultimately be called the "Cuckshed" to mock the Cypriot larpers. Reportedly some soyteens have died during this battle, but it is unknown how many.

Throughout the battle, the enemy forces first arrived with 3 troops, which eventually grew to 8, before eventually being driven to 4 or 5. According to witnesses the moment an enemy soldier left their dirt hut, a storm of arrows would instantly shower over them by the Soyrusalem troops. This would instill fear and doubt in the Cypriot allied soldiers and slaughter their horses, despite having fully enchanted armor. However the enemies would eventually break out the shed and push outwards leading to a pair of horses dying and a soyteen. A few hours later soyteens would arrive again at the cuckshed to kill a lone player covered in fully enchanted diamonds and take the loot as trophy.

Later assaults

At the end of the day a Cypriot allied player would sneak into Soyrusalem through the outpost, but would be ultimately caught by the Soyrusalemites and quickly burnt to death by lava. The next day a player would ragequit after being trolled by soyteens regarding the Cuckshed incident, producing immense amount of seethe and gegs.